Renouncing His Hidden Things of Shame




Almost every woman will say this. Some men may express such a feeling.

However for men, it is important to address this issue for too many books and counselors and even pastors have told him he “must forgive himself.”

Is forgiving myself a biblical requirement or is it gross biblical error that is really impossible to achieve?

At this point, most wounded people, especially those who have sinned such as those who have aborted their baby, will usually say, “I understand that God can forgive me, but I can’t forgive myself.”

In the My Healing Choice Course for Men or the workbook FREE ME TO LIVE, participants are ask to list every reason one blames himself using a SAD FACE Worksheet:

On this worksheet, simply pray “SEARCH ME O GOD AND KNOW MY HEART. SHOW ME WHY I BLAME MYSELF!” Complete these sentences:

I can’t forgive myself because…..

Now, help the man resolve the issue of forgiving himself.

What are two reasons man cannot forgive himself?

1. Luke 5:21. Who does the Bible say is capable of forgiving sin?

2. If a man could forgive his own sin, would Jesus Christ have had to die on the cross?

If someone says “If I can’t forgive my own self, what can I do?”
Use this answer: Every person has the innate capacity to ACCEPT WHAT GOD HAS ALREADY DONE THROUGH THE SHED BLOOD OF

He died for the remission of all sin. We each have the capacity to accept this gift of life, liberty, and forgiveness bestowed upon us by what he has already done for us.

How can anyone feel forgiven when they don’t think they deserve forgiveness?

I John 1:9. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

What one action does God require of everyone of us?

In turn, what does He in turn do for everyone that obeys?

The only action a man will ever have to take to receive God’s forgiveness and to feel forgiven is to confess his sins to God.

He must believe in his heart that Jesus died for the remission of his sins and repent, that is turn away from his sins, and change his mind to agree with God about who he is.

To confess sin requires simply two things

1. First, to be able to see God for who He really is,

2, Second, to see yourself as God sees you.

No person can forgive himself or herself. What everyone can do is begin seeing their own self as God sees you and stop blaming one’s self.

Your wounded self image has been distorted by the unforgiveness and unforgiven sin that reminds you of your past.

However, once you confess your sins and forgive others, the reasons for the distortion of your self image are removed.

As you confess your sin of self-condemnation, you should begin to realize a conscious changed feeling of release. You should feel that your load is just a bit lighter.

What must one do with the memories and emotional ties he has with past lovers?
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As you go about the final stages of letting go, do not overlook the need to break off any soul ties that link him to former sinful experiences.

We call these connections ” Soul Ties.” A soul tie consists of a memory stored in the mind, will, and emotions.

The Bible calls this your Psuche or soul. It means the natural man.

A soul tie is a strong link to any person that consumes their soul and holds them in bondage.

Often, these are created when they are sexually or spiritually intimate with someone else.

Genesis 2:23-24 says that when a man and woman come together, they become one flesh.

Since man consists of a body, a soul, and a spirit when you sexually bond with another person through intercourse, it is believed by some that you become one with them.

Many women report sexual dysfunctionality following rape, incest, abuse, and abortion. However, non-victim women and men often speak of phantom ghosts or memories of those they have emotionally bonded emotionally, spiritually, or sexually.

Soul ties may even occur in nonsexual relationships among family members or close friends.

God’s design is that we develop healthy emotional bonds with other people.

Have the man take several moments and examine his life history to identify any soul ties that have resulted from his emotional/spiritual/sexual relationships with any person, thing, or place.

Soul ties can be broken through renunciation and prayer.

What is the purpose of renouncing hidden things of shame?

How can someone accomplish this?


The purpose of this next exercise is to give him the opportunity to confront those hidden things within himself that stand in the way of becoming a new person in Christ Jesus.
When he forgave others using the “anger stones and bitterness bag”, he was addressing relationships with other people. Now lets deal with only the man’s own self.

For this exercise, we suggest you use a helium-filled balloon.

The goal is for you to have each man to write on the balloon every hidden thing of shame that comes to his mind when he prays this simple prayer:

“Search me O God…and show me those things within me that are not of you that must go.”

After praying, then he is to release the balloon only as you prayer the prayer of renunciation that says, “Father I agree with You that I do not need these things in my life any more. I renounce them in obedience and agree that You are able to take them away from me for ever.”

To prepare for this release exercises, list every thing that comes to your mind when praying “Search Me O God and show me those things in me that are so shameful I hide them.”

Have him write these things on his balloon with a felt-tip marker.

While listing those hidden things, don’t overlook wrong beliefs. What sorts of things should be renounced?

Start by renouncing all things not of God. False religions have serious overtones.

Demonic possession often occurs during ritual abuse or involvement with occultic practices or religions.

There may still be strong demonics operative in a man’s life because of the spiritual window once opened to the demonic in his past.

He may have wondered why his attempt to follow Christ has been so hindered all his life.

Hidden things of Shame include:
1. Thoughts
2. Words
3. Deeds

Common things include: lust, masturbation, pornography, adultery, sexual, habits that are harmful such as smoking, drinking, and drugs.

Other things are isolated to one’s own life. Each man should pray to uncover what should be on his balloon.


It is important when preparing to renounce a hidden things of shame balloon release, that your male participant also renounce every known soul tie to those whom he has been intimate with in his life.

Soul ties are created when the man and woman are intimate. The Bible says they become one flesh. The soul or fleshly tie to those persons defile a marriage bed today (if hi is married.)

Pray. Ask him to pray to God to reveal to him those he needs to break any such emotional/spiritual tie with.

“Dear Lord, Please search my heart and reveal in the innermost place of my heart the name or image of everyone that I need to renounce a relationship with.

Anything that is not of you, I ask that you show me so that I can take the proper action to break its hold on me once and for all. In Jesus’ Name.”

The key is to have something he will be holding on to, to symbolize his hidden things of shame.

It needs to be something he can release and watch go away to dramatically give him the feeling of a true release.

As the balloon floats away, allow him to be conscious of what is being drawn away from his inner-most being. Help him realize he cannot take it back. Allow God to clean out his closet!

Have him release the balloon only after agreeing with God that he does not want the things listed on his balloon to remain in his life.

NEXT: Now, learn how to help him grief his losses!