His Role In Abortion
His Role in the Abortion Decision!
The man is always involved - but not always the decision-maker!
If the father is hostile or appears indifferent to the pregnancy, then the risk of abortion is substantially increased because the woman perceives that she is abandoned.
If the father provides both emotional and economic support for the pregnancy, particularly in a marriage, then the likelihood of abortion is substantially decreased.
For example, anthropologist George Devereux, in his study of 400 pre-industrial societies published in 1955, concluded that ” female attitudes towards maternity appeared to be determined by the masculine attitude towards paternity — even where children were valued and fertile women were esteemed.”
When we look across the spectrum of abortion and men, here’s what we find: different perspectives of men.
Fathers who are adamantly opposed to the procedure.
This man may have tried to prevent the abortion decision, perhaps offering to raise the child himself, to marry the partner if they are not married already.
He is the type that longs for fatherhood and was excited and invested in becoming a father.
Fathers who are opposed but did not take steps to prevent it.
This man may have had his own feelings but subjecated his own thoughts to yield to her decision.
He is the type that because of his passivity, has difficulty making major decisions.
Fathers who first support the abortion decision and then change their minds, but their partners proceed with the abortion..
This man may have at first just went along with her, but then at some point realized that it was “his” baby.
However, because she had already made her decision, he then feels helpless from not being able to stop her.
Fathers who appear to be neutral on the issue.
This man may be unable to articulate how they really feel, may react like the first two groups of men.
Men who simply abandon the woman in the face of pregnancy.
This man for a number of selfish reasons thinks the best way to handle her pregnancy is to run from his responsibilities.
Fathers who force the abortion decision or threaten to withdraw support if abortion is not chosen
This man may tell her to “get over it” is she tries to speak of her confusion or discomfort and likely is abusive in other ways with his partner.
This man will likely report that the relationship ended after the abortion.
Fathers who are not told about the abortion until after it occurred.
These men may react with confusion that their partner did not discuss this matter with him, but made a unilateral decision.
She may tell him before it actually happens or she may not tell him until afterward.
Sometimes he finds out at a later date.
What ever his role, he is a part of an abortion whether he wanted it or not, whether he tried to stop it or not or did not even know about it.
The baby that was lost in abortion was his offspring. This reality will come up in a restoration group. It is important, as the leader, to help him take ownership of that child’s loss.
NEXT: Help him take ownership of his own responsibilities