Grieving His Losses




Now that you have had him “let go” of his rage and anger through forgiveness of others, and “let go” of self-blame by renouncing his hidden things of shame, the next step is to guide him into grieving his losses.

The work he have just completed are steps in dying to our natural self. With any death and with any loss, there is a need to grieve our losses.

There may have been many “losses” in his life whether it was the relationship with your father that he never had, the virginity that he lost when was were sexually abused or abused and used someone, not having a loving and nurturing home environment or the opportunity to grow up in a home with both parents present.

For those who have been a party to abortion, there has been the loss of your child and there is a significant need for that person to grieve this specific loss.

Others may have experienced significant losses as childhood or teenage victims of abuse, neglect, rape, or incest, but because of society’s inappropriate responses, he may have never allowed himself to honestly grieve over the hurt and pain that has been stored up on the inside.

A. What is the value of grieving my losses?

A grief loss memorial that is suggested for the closure of the letting go process.

Unresolved grief can become pathological. Unresolved grief is unhealthy. Allowing yourself to grieve your losses will be a healthy step you can take at this time.

To help him answer this question: What are some of the significant “losses” in my life? Download and share our “Broken Heart” Worksheet.

In ECCLESIASTES 3:1-4 we are told there is a “time to weep and a time to mourn.”
We even see in the New Testament where Jesus wept over the loss of his friend Lazarus.

In LUKE 19:41 we are told that Jesus wept over Jerusalem. Shedding tears does not mean that we are weak or have no control.

Quite the contrary, the ability to cry and not deny or suppress our emotions is a healthy sign of emotional strength.

As you grieve, take comfort that Jesus understands exactly what you are going through and He is right there with you to offer His love, His peace and His hope.

Isaiah 43:1-2. Why does God tell us to “fear not?”

Nehemiah 8:10. Why does God say “neither be ye sorry?”

Psalm 71:5-6. These verses tell us that God is my HOPE and my TRUST.


Due to the variety of life experiences, it is necessary to focus on two forms of grieving loss that are typical in most of individuals using this material.

First,abortion victims suffer the loss of a baby.

Second, violation victims suffer the losses of their innocence, purity, worth, value, relationships, trust, etc.

Both forms of victimization leave a void within the person that needs resolving.

During the course of this Bible study, he may have likely dug up a myriad of painful issues that need to be closed in order for him to go on with his life.

Just like having surgery, once the surgery is finished, it is necessary to close the wound for it to properly heal. The same is true for emotional restoration or healing.

Since there are differences between the factors to be grieved over there are several issues to consider.

Certainly, if there has been a loss of a loved one, there’s a natural need to grieve that loss.

Thus, we recommend a grieve closure service be held. On-line, as part of this course, we will provide for the service.

The goal of the service is to give you a time in history when everything stops to honor you in your moment of grief.

You can view the online memorial service here!

Following his use of the Memorial or serving him with a grief-loss memorial in your support group, the next step is to help him rebuild trust.

If a man has been the manipulator or abuser or demander of the abortion, he is going to have to rebuild trust with those he has harmed.

If he has been violated as a man, then it means he has to know the steps to help rebuild trust while keeping safe.

NEXT: Let’s learn about REBUILDING TRUST!